How to Make Self-Care a Non-Negotiable
Written by Tracy Kennedy
We hear a lot about self-care, but for many of us, it feels like an impossible luxury—something we’ll get to after the to-do list is done, the kids are in bed and the emails are answered. The reality? That moment rarely comes.
If you’ve been feeling irritable, constantly exhausted or like your emotions are running the show, it’s not a personal failing—it’s a sign that your nervous system is overwhelmed. And if self-care feels out of reach, you’re not alone. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that prioritizing ourselves is selfish or indulgent. But what if self-care wasn’t about adding more to your plate, but about shifting how you see it altogether?
Why Self-Care Feels Impossible
When life gets busy, self-care is often the first thing to go. Between work, relationships and daily responsibilities, it can feel like there’s simply no time left. But the issue isn’t just time—it’s the belief that we have to earn our own care. The truth is, you don’t have to do more or be more to deserve rest and nourishment.
When we neglect ourselves for too long, our bodies and minds find ways to let us know—fatigue, irritability, anxiety, frequent colds and headaches, or simply feeling disconnected from ourselves. These aren’t signs of failure; they’re signals that our well-being needs attention.
The Power of Mindset: Non-Negotiables Over Self-Care
If the phrase “self-care” feels out of reach, try thinking of it as your “non-negotiables”—the small but essential things that help you feel grounded, no matter how busy life gets.
Here’s why this shift matters:
✔ It reframes self-care as necessary, not optional.
✔ It helps you prioritize what truly supports your mental, emotional and physical health.
✔ It reminds you that caring for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation for everything else you do.
The Plastic vs. Glass Ball Mindset
Right now, you’re juggling a lot. Some of those balls are glass—your health, key relationships, your emotional well-being. If they drop, they shatter. Others are plastic—they might bounce, roll away or be picked up later.
The key to balance isn’t catching every ball—it’s recognizing which ones are glass and letting the plastic ones drop without guilt.
Small, Meaningful Ways to Prioritize Yourself
You don’t need hours of free time or a completely open schedule to practice self-care. Here are a few simple shifts to get started:
- Morning Reset: Take 60 seconds to write down your gratitude list instead of picking up your phone.
- Movement Check-in: Take a 5-minute walk around the block or 30 seconds to roll out your neck and shoulders to release stress and tension.
- Boundaries First: Before saying “yes” to something, ask, “Is this a glass ball or a plastic ball?”
- Micro-moments of Rest: Let the sunlight warm your face for a few extra seconds. Notice the scent of your tea before your first sip. Feel the sensation of your breath filling your lungs. Let your favourite song wash over you, just for a moment.
When you make your well-being a non-negotiable, you don’t just feel better—you show up as the person you want to be, for yourself and everyone around you.
Tracy Kennedy is a registered social worker and trauma-trained psychotherapist with over 15 years of experience. Registered in both Ontario and British Columbia, she helps adults heal from trauma using EMDR, Somatics, EFT, Polyvagal theory and the Safe and Sound Protocol. With a compassionate and practical approach, Tracy draws from both her expertise and personal healing journey to guide clients toward recovery, offering hope and empowerment every step of the way.
Learn more: tracykennedytherapy.com | Instagram: @tracy.kennedy.therapy
Article was published in The Good Life.
